i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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