Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Randomize