WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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