I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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