i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Can you bring me the toilet please
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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