drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Semen is not good for contacts.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize