Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
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And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
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Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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