none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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