just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
