my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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