She's JV to your varsity
I cannot find my penis.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
