Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
even my farts smell like vagina
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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