handjob tips. give me some.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
