All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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