shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
