you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Randomize
