I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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