Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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