he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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