My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
My vagina is officially offended.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
