i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
vagina is talking i cant
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
