help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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