i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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