Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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