I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
