Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Dear god my vagina.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
