So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
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