careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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