i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
