but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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