She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
