the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
