Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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