Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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