and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
