I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
