Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
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