I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
