he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
