Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
