i may or may not be watching the land before time
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I need a beard to bite.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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