so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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