Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
