dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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