hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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