her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
