whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize