I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
