then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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