Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize