he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Randomize