they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Dear god my vagina.
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