Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
