I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize
