I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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