so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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