Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
