Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
